Running with Angels and Demons.

Angels & Demons is the title of the year 2000 bestselling mystery-thriller novel written by American author, as well as the film of the same name released in 2006 as a sequel to the The Da Vinci Code (interestingly the book itself was a prequel, but that’s another story!) The novel’s main character is Robert Langdon, the Harvard professor of religious iconology and symbology. His character was based on John Langdon, a professor of typography at Drexel University. Professor John Langdon is known for his creation of ambigrams, which are typographical designs that can have multiple meanings depending on the orientation or direction from which they are viewed or read. Sometimes I feel like an ambigram. When I see something or when a particular idea comes to mind, I just know for sure what it means, as well as to why I am compelled to behave accordingly. Yet, with even just a slightly different viewpoint or perspective (which is almost always conveniently provided by a helpful friend or work colleague!), my entire understanding can be turned completely upside down.

But what do ambigrams have to do with the title ‘Running with Angels and Demons’. I run, in fact I love to run, but sometimes I also hate it too. Thus, for me, ‘angels and demons’ is an analogous concept with the love-hate relationship I have with running (or is that a metaphorical one? I still can’t seem to get my head around the difference). More specifically, running can be a source both great pain and pleasure. It’s as if there are two opposing, yet coexisting, forces that are so intertwined that experiencing one can lead to the simultaneous manifestation of the other. For example, during a run, I can at one instant feel intense pleasure and then, shortly after, experience great pain. The converse is also true. Regardless of what I’m feeling, I still find myself compelled to run. Despite this compulsion, I seem to conduct, almost before every run, a kind of internal debate with myself about the reasons why I should or shouldn’t go for a run. It’s kind of like having an angel on one shoulder giving me all the reasons why I should go for a run and a demon on the other doing his best to convince me just how much more attractive Xbox and delicious melted cheese over spicy corn chips is over excess sweating and heavy breathing in the rain. Fortunately, at least so far, my angel has had the strongest arguments, but sometimes his counterpart is just so convincing that I literally haven’t been able to get off the sofa for months on end. How pathetic is that! Yeh, I know, but that little imp’s arguments are sometimes just so compelling! Fortunately, like all humans, I have been blessed with the gift of free will. So, even when I find myself glued to the TV remote control, I still know that I would be much better off, and enjoy much more, a nice long run, whether in be sunny, raining or snowing. Since the main problem is that my anti-exercise demon is firmly committed to finding ways to make running as unattractive a proposition as possible, I have been forced to continually find sneaky ways to get his approval. While he hates running, fortunately, there are many other reasons that he is happy to work with.

So what tactics have I employed? The solution was actually quite simple. All I had to do was find a way to reframe the concept of running. One dictionary definition of running is ‘to go quickly by moving the legs more rapidly than at a walk and in such a manner that, for an instant in each step, all or both feet are off the ground.’ Now, how did I reframe that? Well, I have used so many different excuses that I have lost count, but here are a few of my favourites:

Hey Mr. Running Demon, I’m not going for a run, but:

• to calibrate my heart rate monitor acceleration sensor.
• going to the shop to buy a new Xbox game, which I’ll play when I get home while I’m enjoying my nachos.
• saving 4€ on a bus ticket.
• to think about how I can convince the angel to let me stay at home and play more Xbox and eat more nachos.

You have to know that I’m not kidding! These are actual conversations that I have had with my personal running demon. Unfortunately, he is very smart and catches on quickly to what I am doing. Thus, I constantly need to come up with more ingenious and convincing excuses to earn his approval. But are they excuses or they actually true reasons to run? Unlike before, when improving on a personal best time seemed to be the most important thing in the world, I now run because I feel that it connects me to life. More specifically, there are two key reasons why I run. Firstly, I find that the pain I often feel with running, particular during harder or very long runs, is more than repaid with the intense pleasure I feel afterwards. I enjoy the taste of food more, I’m more effective at work and I’m generally a much nicer person to be around. I just enjoy the feeling of simply ‘being’. Then, conversely, running provides a pleasurable refuge for me from the, often very painful, trials, tribulations and demands of everyday life. It is a way for me to get centred, refocused and re-energized. When I run, I feel totally free. Whether pleasurable or painful, running reconnects me to the world. Essentially, running gives my life meaning, and that is something my impish colleague will find almost impossible to convince me to give up! To loan (and slightly brutalize) a line from a Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song, ‘I like pleasure spiked with pain, and running is my aeroplane’. While the demons are responsible for inflicting the pain, the angels grace us with pleasure when we become worthy of it. What is important to realize is that we need to know pain in order be truly happy. After all, how can we know we are happy and appreciate the good things you have in our lives if we do not have the opposite to compare them too?

Angels and demons. We all have them, regardless of whether we run or not. It would be really interesting to hear some of your own ‘excuses’, whether you run or not, about how you have tricked your personal demon to allow you to get you off the sofa. I will collate the top 10 and publish them in a future blog. Until then, have the courage to ‘fly your own aeroplane’; and to my fellow runners specifically, just keep smacking that asphalt. You know why…

Jyri Manninen
FAF Director of Education